Finally, someone is going to help me and those were tears of joy, tears of sadness and that’s where my story began and from that day forth my short-term disability lasted for six months. After 6 months, I went on long term disability and I never returned to work because of being diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia cost me a lot of things, it cost me my career; at times it even cost me my mind because I could no longer think with clarity, everything stressed me out. It caused me to have post-traumatic stress due to the bullying. For example, whenever I would pass by the office where I used to work ,I would have panic attacks. I learned this was post-traumatic stress and needed to go into therapy to get some help for it.
Spiritually it cost me a lot being in so much pain. When you’re in so much pain, sometimes you don’t even know what to pray for yourself, you don’t even know what to ask God for and sometimes it literally hurts so bad to even pray. You may be thinking how can that be, because you can pray silently. Well, it’s the Battle of the mind being in so much pain that you cannot even think, being in so much pain that you can’t even pray and some days all I could say was Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy and that was all I could say because I just felt that I was just locked up with emotion and pain, abuse that I couldn’t even help myself and if I couldn’t help myself how am I going to be able to help others. And God seemed so far away, I didn’t even know if God was hearing my prayers and it wasn’t until one day when I was alone and I stopped worrying about if God heard me. I used to just be focused on that non-stop, now I used to be angry, had a lot of anger stemming from okay why this happening to me is? How dare these people treat me like I’m nothing and get away with this? I felt that I was abandoned by God and one day when I was having what I referred to as a pity party, one of the worst I’ve had in a long time.
God spoke to me quickly and this is what he said, “Necie get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself, this is not about you. Where others have meant for bad unto you, I meant for good. So, this is not about you, you are to get up, go out there and start helping other people.” And he gave me specific clear guidelines and I said well God what about me, what about me and God said nothing else and at that point I said to myself God has spoken. I am the clay; He is the Potter who am I to question the Most High God and the first thing that came into my spirit was I had always wanted to have my own talk show on the local public access channel. Years past when I would go to the cable station to propose to them an idea for the show, they would always deny me. I didn’t have any experience, they didn’t have any open slots or you needed to go through producers training and none of that I was able to do because I was working full time. This time when I went to the cable studio and told them that I wanted my own show geared towards chronic pain; within 15 minutes just like that they said approved.
I knew then the power of God was upon me and that this was not about me, that God was using me as a vehicle to help others. Why God chose me for this I don’t know. I’m the clay He’s the Potter and God has berth a movement in me and I’m on that journey. And then after the talk show, I started a not-for-profit, we are now a 501(c) (3). Others had stated it’s so expensive to get a not-for-profit; it’s going to take forever to get your 501(c) (3). We formed a not-for-profit corporation that was completed in three weeks, we filed for our 501(c) (3) tax exemption and that was approved within about two weeks.
Again, God ordained, so we started off as I mentioned with the public access talk show on the cable channel. From that we started off with our filing to be a not-for-profit corporation, we are 501(c) (3). We got that going, God blessed us with a website and as well as a support group that now has about five hundred and eighty-six members.
So, fibromyalgia ruined my life, body, mind, spirit and soul as well as occupationally, but on the flip side of that is a blessing and the blessing is I found myself through these painful events. God used me for such a time as this and He’s still using me to this day and I can’t wait to see what else he has planned for me.
God has done so many miraculous things in my life since having this diagnosis; we are now launching our own brand-new radio talk show called the Pain-Free zone and it is just miraculous that all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me. So, there is power in pain, pain as I mentioned the flip side of that is it led me to my purpose. There’s power in pain and that power God showed me how to use it for his glory; not for my will but for his will to be done and through that; God has used me to create a movement to bless others and I refer to that movement as Hope Avenue and Hope Avenue is all about Jesus. Because when you are follower of Christ and when you’re waiting on Jesus you’re on Hope Avenue and as long as you stay on Hope Avenue there are blessings that will overflow you.
You don’t develop a chronic illness or chronic pain overnight, and it’s not going to leave you overnight without some type of help.
Share your feedback and comments on this post.